Can You Smell It?

For Cinco De Mayo, my husband and I are going to a friends house to watch some boxing- I was asked to cook a brisket.....

it smells good. I think I would rather eat now.

An Explanation

So, I thought I should explain the explanation of my blog.

This of course has been one of those profound moments in my life. That moment when I found myself really feeling like my life really did have purpose and meaning. The moment when I realized that everything hard or trying made up who I am. They say- Character is Destiny. I think each day we all do the best that we can, and sometimes- in the eyes of our fellow man, our best just isn't good enough. I'm not trying to validate poor behavior, or excuse bad choices- I'm simply saying that my poor behavior and bad choices have really been stepping stones towards change and growth in my life.

Every mistake I have made at one time seemed to be bleak and pointless. I was living my life in remorse over them. At some point remorse bit me. I had given up. I didn't care to even try. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do, and be left alone by everyone around me. Separating myself from the people who love me; and robbing myself of several oppurtunities in life. So to sum that all up- I was hopeless.

When I became aware of the reality of my situation- I found out that I was the PROBLEM. It was me that ultimately made the decision to seperate myself, and give up trying. It was me that was going to bed every night miserable. I had nobody to blame. With this kind of insight, you either go on to the bitter end......or you do something different. I chose to do something different. Each of those mistakes, those hardships, choices- that seemed to be bad, turned out to be good. They were lessons. They were direction. A handbook of sorts, of WHAT NOT TO DO. So they had thier place. They had thier purpose. If I had not made those mistakes, I would have kept wandering around like an automaton. So my troubles being the pointless black dots, have really made me who I am today. I love myself today. I love my life today, most importantly, I love the realization that the little pointless, dark, bleak dots....really make up a beautiful picture.

Another day on the ball field

So, Im going to try again to give you a little insight about me. I'm a mother with 4 children, three of them which live with me. I will tell more about the daughter who lives with her father on another post.

My husband works fulltime, and goes to college 3/4 time. This makes for some sacrifices, but in the end we both know, it is well worth it. Our oldest daughter is 12, then there is the 8 year old daughter, and the 6 year old son. They are all excellent students, and just all around good kids. This is an accomplishment my husband and I are proud of; as we all know that these days its hard to come by.

They are all active in sports, during the fall we play soccer, and the summer we play baseball. Now this is a sport that I have had to learn to love. At first I wasn't too excited about the idea of the kids playing ball, I would have been happy with sticking with soccer. My husband an adimant man, and a baseball player, would not have it. So, baseball it was. The first few practices I would sit behind the cage, and watch the kids do thier thing, all the while wonder when practice would be over. By the end of the season, I- yes me, was the mother that stood cheering for every single kid on thier team.
This season, I could not wait for baseball to start.

So here is a breakdown of a week for us. Practice, Monday thru Friday. Softball, MTW, and Coach Pitch Tues and Thurs. I spend most of my evenings on the field, chatting with all the other Moms, and jumping out of my seat- every single time my babies hit the ball. It's great.

Well, well..........

I started out "blogging" this morning about myself, and suddenly- my virus scan caught something, quaruntined it, and asked me to click the next button...I did just that, and I lost everything I had written.

So, Im going to take that as a kind way of saying----you need not talk much about yourself.

First Post

Well here we are. I have a blogspot. I look forward to posting more, but for now, its time for me to get ready for work.

So from me to you- hello.