Okay, so not really. But considering the last few weekends, this one has been much more relaxing. I took Friday off of work so I could drive over to McAlester to be with the kiddos, and spend some time with Matti as she was to be on the plane and back to Washington yesterday. Colin and I woke up early yesterday morning, packed the kids up, and headed our way down to Dallas. We spent a lot of our afternoon in the airport and off Matti went. This is always so bittersweet for me. I know she needs to be home, but I also wish that my home was her home..... Drove back to Lawton and here we are. We spent a Saturday night hanging out with the one kid left at home, (the others made plans to stay the night elsewhere) and was in bed by 10 pm! Now if that is not a change for a Saturday night, I don't know what is. So it is Sunday morning. No broken promises today. No hangovers, No regrets. I did not stay up so late wondering if I was going to help him in the house from his night of "just having a few". He has been literally forced to look at his behavior, as I have been forced to look at mine. I think it has become very clear to him that he is setting himself up for some serious problems. No drinking, no fighting. I am not so angry at him that I feel the need to slap him or cuss at him. I love him. He nor I, have been the people each other has married, until this week.
Stress caused some weight loss for me, which is a big no no in the pregnancy world. I saw my Dr. on Monday and he assured me that if I lost anymore weight by my next visit in a couple of weeks that he would put me in the hospital. He prescribed me an anti depressant called Deplin, and I have been taking it faithfully. He also prescribed me Ambien for sleep. I took it for the first couple of nights to sleep, but the last few nights I have been able to sleep just fine without it. I don't like taking it, as I do not feel Evyn Rayne playing in my tummy for long periods of time when I take it. AND....I can say my appetite is back, and it is back with a vengeance. So I seriously doubt Dr. P is going to hospitalize me the next time I see him.
I refuse to wait for the shoe to drop. I am aware of my surroundings and what is going on in my life. We talk non stop about solutions to the problems that we have both been running from. I feel like we are on the right track. Fear is an evil and corroding thread, and I am not going to give it the power to destroy me. I do not believe that he will either. There is nothing like having to eat some humble pie, take a dose of humility....it does change people.
Keep praying for us. We can always use them.
