The weekend always seems to fly by...and I don't ever really notice that I have been completely unproductive until Sunday comes....
Sunday is the day where I try to catch up on the things I was unable to do during the week. ie. groceries, laundry, clean the house etc.
It gets a little lame doing this on my last day off of work. I would much rather be relaxing on the most comfortable bed there is, without worrying about what we will have to eat for the day, or the worst yet....Do the kids have clean clothes for school tomorrow?
Dont get me wrong, there is something awfully fulfulling doing my my motherly duties, but this girl still has some selfish ideas, and at times still wishes that responsibility didnt have to come first. I do not think I am unique with this either. I know we all struggle taking care of the things that we would rather not have to take care of. Who really wants to get up early in the morning and get ready for work...I mean getting up early in the morning and drinking a pot of coffee in my pajamas without the pressure of time ticking against me seems much more attractive.
So, today, Sunday....I am once again trying to get caught up...and feeling as if my weekend off of work, did not bring me any freedom....that in fact, I am still working- Im just wearing a different hat.
On a different note:
Life is always good...even when I have to work on the weekend...
I find myself astonished at all the changes that have taken place in my little world. New friends an honest feeling that things are okay just as they are...and they are. Things really are wonderful...I couldnt ask for much more. A phone call from a friend that I had a tiff with- about 8 months ago. It was good to hear her voice, and to know that she was doing okay. It was also good to really feel like I had nothing to apologize for...that this time it wasnt my doing. and, it wasnt. I have learned how to be a good friend, and I have learned how to be honest in that moment...when you think your honesty will give you consequences, or your honestly will create rejection....and there is nothing more rewarding than being able to be honest in that moment and be completely okay with whether or not it will cause you consequences...because the consequences that others dish out...really do not hurt me. They hurt themselves.
There is a lot of freedom in that. And honestly, it has been nice to have only a few select people in my life that I am close to. I love people, and I like to get to know people, but I have learned that more often than not....everyone is looking for some type of validation- and I do not have what it takes to make people feel worthy anymore. Its not my job. It is only my job to be the best friend I know how to be, to allow people to be who they are, and in the process be true to myself. I do not have to validate anyone, and I do not have to give people thier sense of self worth. There is nothing more draining than that.
My husband and I have seemed to reach this new level of enthusiam for one another. I adore him. I look forward to being with him for the rest of my life. On my myspace page..there is a section..."Who I'd Like to Meet?" This morning it kind of hit me....
I would like to meet my husband 20 years down the road. I want to meet my children 20 years down the road. That intrigues me. What kind of people will we have grown into? What type of life will we have? What kind of service will we be involved in? If we are healthy human beings at all....we will have grown and become people with different perspectives and goals than we have today. So, I am interested in meeting my best friend. I am interested in meeting my childrens children.
Thats enough for now. Im not very good at keeping up with this blogger thing- I usually only write when I feel completely inspired to say something.
