His timing.

I'm having some trouble. I'm trying not to think about Thursday, the day Mattisyn leaves back to Washington. I'm already starting to feel sadness and regret. She is such a precious little girl, and I wish that she could experience the kind of life we have to offer, on a much more full time basis. I regret that she will have to go back to a war zone. Maybe I am being overly dramatic. Who knows?

She asks me these questions that I have no answer for. Her little mind cannot comprehend the choices adults sometimes make. She does not understand why her Mommy does not love her Daddy anymore. She does not understand why her Mommy lives so far away. All I know to say to her is I love her, and her Daddy loves her, and all is going to be okay. And it is. The dynamics are different now, but everything is going to be okay.

I am so grateful to have the life I have today. There is not a lot I would change. I know that nothing happens in Gods world by mistake. All of it has its purpose. She may not understand, and I may not even understand, but I find comfort in knowing that God is taking care of us all.

My Reader

So, after not posting here for awhile, I decided to go ahead and post more, because now I have a reader. 1 reader. Of course the reader is you. I hope you see another part of me. I hope that somehow I can put in words what goes on in my little head....or big head- depends on the day.

I'm not nearly as profound or talented in this skill as you are, but I got things going on up there. Somedays I'm overwhelmed with things to say or write about, but as soon as I try....my train of thought derails, and all is lost.

I've noticed that happening a lot to me actually. I find myself in meetings, thinking about how I relate to thier experiences, and it comes my turn to share....and suddenly everything I related to has dissipated, not because I can no longer relate, but I have trouble putting my thoughts into words that you may understand.

Either way, Im glad you are reading. I love you.